Zim Springer 2 Red and Pur!
by otherrealmwriter
Summary: Red and Purple in RAPR style are on Jerry Springer and Purple is revealing a shocking secret! Oneshot. Sequilish to Jerry Springer Invader Zim Style


I don't own Invader Zim okay? Thanks to MadeUpFigment for this idea. This one is for you. It is based once again on Weird Al's "Jerry Springer"

"Hey Pur my love." Red said aboard the Massive. He went into Purple's chamber. He was really into his co-Tallest and this caused quite a stir in the Irken Empire. In the past, both Miyuki and Spork had affairs with Irken generals. Thing was that Red thought Purple was cute, ever since their days as scientists on the planet Vort under Miyuki.

"Hello Red my dear." Purple said. He loved Red too. He thought Red was wonderful ever since they worked together and they've been secretly making out and kissing for years now. When they became the Tallest, it was more fun, with the risk of getting caught. For Purple it was an even bigger thrill because he had a secret he kept from Red. Purple had to be a tease. Red pulled Purple into an embrace and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too Red." Purple said. For a Tallest romance was to be the last thing on their minds. They were to lead the Empire and that was it. Red and Purple were two of the worst Tallests in Irken History. Basically all they did was eat snacks. Unfortunately no one was taller and they weren't killed yet.

"Red haven't you noticed anything odd lately?" Purple asked.

"No not really." Red said.

"Well the thing is Zim hasn't called in a week. He usually calls seven times a day." Purple said.

"And that's a problem because?" Red said.

"Well Zim might be dead." Purple said in concern.

"Well then that's good!" Red said. " Now let's just watch some TV."

"And we're back!" Jerry had said.

"What's this?" Red asked.

"Some Earth show called Jerry Springer." Purple said

"What's Jerry Springer?" Red asked curious, but didn't notice Dib and Zim come on the screen.

"It's some show featuring all sorts of Earth freaks. Zim uploaded the signal to the ship's computer. I know he's annoying but I think that little idiot's alright." Purple said sympathetically. Back when Zim was a scientist on planet Vort, he made friends with Purple. In fact their friendship was so deep that Purple was even thinking of exposing his secret to Zim. He trusted him that much. Soon after Miyuki's death, Purple and Zim became distant. By the time Operation Impending Doom II started, Zim was an outcast and Purple was in a gay relationship with Red.

"He he I love freaks." Red laughed menacingly. "Not the same way as you Pur." He said kissing him.

"Yeah Red." Purple said in a soft and distant way.

"Hey isn't that Zim? The bighead kid is crying." Red said intrigued.

"I can't believe us! We've been messing around on each other way too much! But still Zim, you said you loved me and you slept with my family. You bitch!" Dib cried as he slapped Zim and ran off.

"OH MY FUCKING MIYUKI!" Red yelled. Miyuki as their greatest Tallest ever was treated like a goddess. "That is so fucking hilarious! That Earth monkey ran off crying like a smeet!"

_That's not funny. He was stabbed in the heart. He loved Zim. Poor thing._ Purple thought. At this he noticed Jerry's Final Thought. " No one benefits from secrets kept in a relationship. My guests today have had their relationship ruined by mistrust and secrets. Let's just hope they can pull through it and remain a couple." Jerry said. _Maybe I should tell Red._ Purple thought. As soon as he did he called Jerry. "I have to tell Red the secret to as why I'll only kiss him." he whispered as Red turned in the act of recharging. The next day he teleported an unconscious Red to the show.

"Now Turd Ferguson, I believe you would like to tell us a story?" Jerry said to Purple. When Purple was on Earth he used the pseudonym 'Turd Ferguson'.

"Yes. Red can't hear us right?" Purple asked.

"He is in an enclosed set where he can't hear the show. You are free to talk." Jerry reassured him.

"Okay here goes. My boyfriend is gay, and he thinks I'm a guy. I'm actually a girl. I want to tell him the truth. He is ready for sex and I don't want him to find out _then._" Purple said.

"Well here he is your lover Red!" Jerry said as Red came on stage.

"Hello Earth stink." Red said. "Love your show."

"Thank you. Now Turd Ferguson would like to say something to you." Jerry said.

"Red well this is awkward. I know you love me but well here goes everything." Purple said then his (or her) voice got softer. "I'm actually a girl."

"WHAT?!" I kissed a fucking girl! Damn that is nasty! You taste like a guy! I think girls taste like shit!" Red yelled.

"I know. I feel in love with you at a time I wanted to be a guy. It was hard but I kept up the male act. I really do love you. Will you stay? If you want I'll get a sex change for you. I want to stay yours." Purple pleaded taking Red's claws in hers.

"Hell no! No fucking way! I like guys!" Red said taking his claws from Purple. " I like real guys born that way, not sex changed girls. We're done!"


End file.
